Monday, September 10, 2012

Nolan-izing Harry Potter

I was in the North woods of Wisconsin, enjoying the fantastic scenery and getting away from any sort of technology, when an idea from the blue struck me: Someday they are going to remake Harry Potter.

Don't ask me why a beautiful lake and the chirp of birds led me to that discovery, but it's true. Someday they are going to reboot the classic children's series. At least in film form. 

I loved Harry Potter when I was younger. I was never the full blown sycophantic fan that seem to crop up around any great work, but I genuinely enjoyed the books. Until the fourth one with that damn quidditch game that was too long. I placed the book down, decided to be a good American and wait until the movie came out. 
I regret nothing.
What would a HP remake look like? Your guess is as good as mine, but I'm going to take a stab at it using today's remake system: make it gritty. Batman used to be for children, but those children grew up and so did the stories. We left the groovy dancing Batman and entered an age of gravel voice, no shit Batman. We have the great director Christopher Nolan to thank for that. He kept all the themes and concepts from the comic, but wrote a really great trilogy of crime movies that happened to feature Batman in them. This sort of thing  is becoming more and more popular. (Jeez doesn't that Superman trailer make a great Levi's commercial?) Take high fantasy things and bring them to our level. Nolanizing. 

I would assume the same would be true of HP; so I'm going to comb my hair in a devilishly handsome way and pitch to you my Nolanization of Harry Potter.
He is Inceptioning you right now!
Elevator Pitch: Potter is a film about a cop named Harry sent to infiltrate the brutal street gang: The Death Eaters. The Eaters have kidnapped a brilliant chemist, Dr. Granger, and plan to force her to create a drug dubbed 'Magic' by junkies. Can Harry get to her without ending up another corpse in the Thames?

Plot Overview: Harry Potter was orphaned as a boy when a killer the papers called Riddle, due to the lack of information the cops had on him, killed his parents. Harry became a ward of the state and grew up in a boy's home with the constant stigma and vague fame of being the only person Riddle had attacked and not killed; something he's been trying to live down his whole life.

When he finally came of age he left the home and became an officer, vowing to protect London against the sort of thing that left him without a family. Harry, and his partner Ron, end up busting a huge drug case when they discover a warehouse full of 'Magic' a new street drug. The bust draws the notice of Lt. Dore who invites him to join the Special Crimes Division, what the rest of the force calls the Griffons, due to the patches on their uniform.

Dore sends Harry and Ron to infiltrate the Death Eaters, the source of 'Magic' and one of the most notorious gangs in London, to ascertain where Magic is coming from. Once inside the duo discover the gang is more of a cult lead by those who almost worship the killer Riddle. The drug is being manufactured by Dr. Hermione Granger, a brilliant chemist, who has been kidnapped by the DEs.

Once Harry is in, he has to get out. He, Ron and Hermione devise a plan to destroy the warehouse where Magic is being made and escape, but they face threats from all sides as DEs and corrupt cops stand in their way. The movie ends with the three safe and a slight indication that Lt. Dore might be Riddle.

Something along these lines.

Other Nolanized Things:
Ditching: The DEs play a game called Ditching where they race down the busy streets against traffic on motorcycles. It's one of the initiation rites of the gang that Harry must do. Only pussies ditch out of the lane, hence the name.

Hagrid: Officer Hagrid is the "I'm too old for this shit" cop that is in charge of the evidence lock-up.

Drake Malfoy: A rich punk that is taking his daddy's money and throwing it into the DEs so they accept him. Suspicious about Harry's motivations to join the gang.

I think I'm going to keep Nolanizing as something that happens here often. Next post will be something more creative and original, but I needed to get the juices flowing. The sweet, sweet juices. 

1 comment:

  1. Awesome! Also, Lt. Dore possibly being Riddle reminds me of Verbal Kint in Unusual Suspects